Monday, September 15, 2014


I'm pretty sure I'm using fauxlationships to avoid real relationships and happy endings.

What's a fauxlationship? Well, it's when someone who is only in Seattle for a couple days and I go on a couple dates in a couple days, and then he leaves.

I've only done it, what, three times now? But I feel like this is a great way to avoid real connections or the possibility of a real relationship. Way to go, emotionally secure BN.

A couple weekends ago, a guy was in town for the PAX conference. When he got back to LA, he sent me a text saying, "Why do you live so far awaaaaay?" I wanted to reply with, "Because we'd never date if you lived in Seaaattlleee." He wasn't someone I'd ever want to date. He was okay to hang out with for a weekend, but eeeeeh.

But it felt so goooood to hang out with someone three nights in a row. We cuddled. We got food. I met him in dinosaur slippers, a sweatshirt, and leggings.  I know how to seduce the mens, y'all. (I know. I've basically given up with that outfit.) It was really nice having a fauxlationship. And then he's gone, so there goes any chance of my feelings getting hurt. Aren't you glad I analyze myself and my issues so well.

Another German guy was here for a weekend. We only went out once, but he invited me to couchsurf at his apartment. And if you know me, you know I NEVER turn down an invitation to travel somewhere. So hey, Germany in April next year.

One day, I'll start looking for a real relationship. But for now, it's kind of fun to meet somebody and decide to fly out there in 7 months to stay on his couch. I'm young. I'm single. I have nobody to be held accountable to. Let's do this thing.

Friday, September 12, 2014

I Got the Bottom Half from My Dad

I haven't been posting my dating stories. Because, let's be honest, I suck. Or I'm just into short versions on facebook. 

Let's post this one though.

I was on a date in July. (The date I was going on after I posted that post.) The guy went to the bathroom. He came back, and about 15-20 minutes later, his alarm went off on his phone. It was 8:30pm. He either 1) had another date or 2) realized I wasn't going to have sex with him.

I mean, hello. He was half Palestinian. I'm a quarter Israeli. We weren't going to resolve the Middle East conflict in one night. (winky face here.)

Truly, I hope it was because he realized I wasn't going to sleep with him. That makes the story a liiiittle better. Or maybe when he said, "I got the top half from my mom, and the bottom half is from my dad." I looked at his crotch inadvertently and must have had a LOOK on my face. "NOOO. Like the hair on my body. My leg hair is like my Palestinian dad's."

So that's how that date went. He told me he was going to leave. I stood up as well and said, "Well, I'm not going to stay at this bar where I'm only drinking water by myself." He told me to keep in touch and walked away.

Score. Another date in the suck pile. 

Saturday, July 05, 2014

From the Bathroom

I usually get on my phone while my dates are or I am in the bathroom. 

From now on, I'll be trying to blog while this happens. I'm currently on a semi dating hiatus because everyone is awful, but we'll see how this goes. 
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