On Friday, I was going to say to a friend, "I hate walking around downtown because I'm always worried about running into someone with whom things ended poorly."
So I ran into tall, dark, and handsome in downtown Seattle that day. He's the guy who told me, "I don't need a guilt trip from someone I barely know," after we'd been hanging out on and off for three months. Him: "Let's go to Belgium next year, TBN!" Me: "Um, what."
Anyway. I wasn't expecting it. He wasn't expecting it. I was with my friend Lindsay, who was visiting from Utah. I spotted him first. He saw me second (after I was no longer looking at him) and gave a visible shake of his entire body. Kind of like, "What the hell? Last person I'd ever expect to see."
I whispered to Lindsay, "That's the guy from last year."
He and I both did the mature adult thing and passed by while pretending we never knew each other.
Like we have never woken up in each other arms then cuddled while discussing our day ahead. Like I didn't accuse him of stealing my screwdriver and search his toolbox (not a euphemism) for it. Like I never rubbed lotion on his new tattoo. (Wow, that sounds gross typed out.)
Real adult relationships are complicated. And stupid. Then again, he was a total dick at the end, and I think I did the right thing not saying anything. Considering how awkward he was, that would've been the worst.
Let's think about this new guy (we call him purples) who made me crepes on our second date. That was nice. He freaking sliced zucchini in my kitchen and fried them with bacon. Nobody cooks for me but me. It was sweet. Then he held my hand while cuddling and watching bad TV. That was nice too. OKAY, I LIKE TO BE TOUCHED. THERE. I WILL INITIATE TOUCHING OCCASIONALLY. I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE. But eh, I feel interest waning. I am totally prepared to give up dating for fall/winter. Too much effort. I just want to curl up on my couch with the window open and a breeze coming through. And go to Hawaii at the end of October.