I wore my new pink dress today. And (yes, I'm going to say it again) I was looking amazingly hot. Can I get some validation from those of you at the baby shower slash anyone else who might have spent the afternoon with me while I was in my dress? I was wearing terribly tall shoes, so what man could not look at a 6 foot blonde in a tight pink dress and hot shoes? (Answer: NONE. THERE IS NO SUCH MAN.) That dress is not low cut, as you can see, but MAN, the girls were molested tonight by eyes. That's why I don't wear high-cut shirts/dresses. Men stare more when they're covered, believe me. I should do a scientific experiment on that... hmmm
Anyway, Ashley and I went to Smith's tonight in downtown Salt Lake. It's a little sketchy, but I used to go there all the time. And on our way to Blockbuster, we were accosted by a man.
(Staring at my chest): Ma'am, can you help me? (Eyes back up to meet my eyes)
Me: Ummm what?
(Staring at my chest again): I'm a Vietnam vet. I (blah blah blah) I was wondering if you could give me some change. (OGLING CHEST EVEN MORE)
Us: Sorry, we don't have change! (I don't carry cash, panhandlers, okay? I WILL NEVER HAVE CASH! WHO CARRIES CASH NOWADAYS????)
(Getting his last look in before we walk away): Okay, thanks.
Seriously, sir???? I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MONEY IF YOU ARE OGLING ME! The girls need their privacy just like anyone else's girls. Just because they happen to be bigger does not give you an invitation to stare openly. Seriously, all men. NOT AN OPEN INVITATION! (Well, it is if I'm wearing a low-cut shirt. Feel free to stare. It's a free-for-all.)
Oh and creepy men in Smith's. If you are scratching your (ahem) balls, WE CAN SEE YOU. It's not like there's a magical block in front of your crotch covering your hands. We can see everything. We look down occasionally. We can see what you're doing! Adjusting yourself also falls under this same category. It is creepy. Please don't scratch or adjust yourself in front of me. (This goes toward all men I have ever known.)
I CAN SEE YOU.