Thursday, April 22, 2010

Quite Honestly the Funniest Post Ever

I just received a letter from 15-year-old Boob Nazi. It was meant to be sent to me when I was 18. Instead, I got it when I was 24. Let me share it with all of you.

8-5-01
Dear 18-year-old Boob Nazi

Hopefully, right now, you are at BYU. You are enjoying school there and having the time of your life learning everything! You are going to church every Sunday and meeting new people while you are there. Make sure you have made friends. Hopefully, you know where Laura is, and you can write to her. Then you will always have one friend. Hopefully, you are still planning to go to medical school. It will be reward. I know it will! When you are a pediatrician, you can help little children!

Maybe you have already met a guy who is in love with you. DON'T get married your first year! You are now just turning 18!!! GOSH!!! Tell him that you want to get your college somewhat out of the way before you get married! I am sure he is tall and cute... with a great personality much like yours. He makes everyone laugh, and he is the life of a party because everyone likes him. Okay, so not everyone likes you, but people who know you well like you!

Make sure this special guy who you have already met or will meet soon wants a family. Especially a family where you pick the kids' names! And a family that will be brought up in the church. Attending church every Sunday should be very important to him, even if he has a major test the next day or whatever. Hopefully, you will find someone dedicated to the church.

Right now, you better be going to church every Sunday. I know that right now (when we are 15) that church is not always the most exciting thing to go to. Grow to love the church and to love going there. It should be a very fun place to go to.

HOPEFULLY, right now, YOU ARE NOT EATING!!!! I DON'T WANT TO BALLOON THE EXTRA 15 POUNDS FRESHMAN YEAR!! THERE IS NOWHERE FOR THEM TO GO!!!!! DO NOT EAT! DO NOT EAT! DO NOT EAT! IF YOU DO EAT, EAT MELON OR SOMETHING HEALTHY, YO! NO COOKIES OR CRACKERS THAT ARE HIGH IN CALORIES AND FAT! YO!!!

Love Always,

15-year-old Boob Nazi


Mother, thank you for sending me this. I haven't laughed this hard in a while. I then choked and almost died while rolling on the floor. I've changed so much yet so little. I hope you enjoyed this. Also, I'm doing AWESOME on my strategies today. woo woo. And dude, I said hopefully so much. bleech.

50 comments:

blueviolet said...

Your mom is the awesome for saving that for you!!!! To think you were worried you'd get married while in your freshman year! Oh my!

The Boob Nazi said...

I know!!!! hahahahahahaha and here I am, 7 years in college without getting married.

NIKOL said...

Oh how I wish I had a letter from 15 year old me. Our teenage selves were such crack ups. Which is why I love posting old diary entries.

Katie said...

That. was. amazing. hahahaha. I LOVE IT! I wrote a letter to my future husband when I was 14 at a young woman's activity. I only hope and pray that I can find that somewhere.

Heather Lee said...

Oh man, I love those kinds of letters. They are both horribly embarrassing and incredibly hilarious.

Sara Ann said...

That is totally priceless!! Thanks for sharing:)

Alexandra said...

I know I've got one of those somewhere. Now I've got to find it!
My favorite parts are "You are now just turning 18!!! GOSH!!!" and all the "Yo!" stuff at the end. Awesome.

Trish said...

That is great stuff...you were so smart back then! Wish I was that smart when I was 15! Not so much!

Christine said...

What a great idea! Now I want to read my old journal entries and post them for all to see and laugh at...I'm scared and excited at the same time!

Photo Freak said...

Baaaaaaaahahahahah! I needed a good laugh

Vanessa said...

HILARIOUS! I love the last paragraph.

AZ Larsens said...

haha! That was so funny! Especially the last paragraph!

samnhal said...

I totally had something like this from when I was like 17 and my seminary teacher sends it to everyone right around their 21st birthday. It is so crazy to see what you thought about back then.

Amander said...

This really is one of the funniest things ever. So many parts to comment on, I can't choose!

Kamity said...

I'm so mature. All I can think of right now is "... melons! Ha ha! Boob Nazi's got melons, but not the kind you eat! Ha ha!"

alishka babushka said...

i think i know where my future letter to my husband is from when i was 14/15....i would love to read it right now. ha ha ha. maybe i should go find it.

Noelle said...

And now I must go and find the letter I wrote to myself...thanks for reminding me! :)

Audreya said...

I remember writing a letter like this around the same time. I wish my mom would have found it and returned it to me. I don't remember what I wrote, but I know what I should have written: "Dear 18 year old self, Enjoy being thin. It won't last. Love, Even Thinner 15 year old self". :-)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

that was awesome!!!

Elsha said...

AWESOME.

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Shewi128 said...

Wtf is with all of the exclamation points.. YO?!

Jillybean said...

This is great!! Will you be writing back to your 15 year old self?

Aren't you supposed to get some sort of a refund on tuition if you graduate from BYU without getting married?

stewbert said...

oh my word that's awesome. hehehe

TOWR said...

Ha! That was awesome. I hope I was that awesome when I was fifteen. I like to think I was but I have a sneaking suspicion I wasn't (I didn't get really cool until I was about 17... maybe 19).

See Mom Smile said...

Hilarious. Thanks for sharing. Sometimes scary what our younger selves expected of our older selves!

Torgersons said...

Oh my gosh. That was awesome. For sure the best post ever. Add it to he side of best posts ever please so I can find it again someday.

Karls said...

What a classic! I'm guessing church was really important to you? I wish I'd given myself such sound advice on the food front!

The Boob Nazi said...

I wrote it AT church, so I think there were guidelines as to what you should put in it.... hahaha

Jennifer said...

I LOVE IT!! It sounds like something I'd have written to myself back then!

Crazy Shenanigans said...

Haha, I love your letter to yourself!

Katie said...

Reading this letter totally made my day. It was hilarious!

Brianne said...

That is AWESOME!!!! Haha! I wish I had thought to do something so awesome when I was 15. Genius, one might say. :)

Kellee said...

OMG i just had flashbacks of writing myself a somewhat similar letter.... where did i put it??

Krissa said...

HAHAHAHA...that is AWESOME!!!!! I love it!!!

Tiffany said...

Let me guess..... Mia Maid lesson?? This is hilarious! I wish someone had kept my letters to me, I do remember writing a letter to the married Tiffany when I was like 17 or something....

Krystal said...

Oh I love it! I'm pretty sure we did this in seminary once... and I don't remember if I ever got the letter? I think I did, but I have no clue where it is... but that is awesome!

Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judy said...

That's just too cute! :)

Sue said...

So I was getting rid of/cleaning out the family file in the garage and found the letter (yes, I read it and was amused). I do think you should kind of answer it. Lots to laugh/enjoy in that letter.

siovhan said...

AMAZING. oh isn't it funny what teenage us thinks is important for us to remember?

Wendyburd1 said...

That is so cool to have!! I wish they had made us do that when I was 15. I could have some good advice to listen to too, and it would be FROM ME!!

Claire said...

Haha! That is awesome... Whenever I read my old journals, I just want to curl up in a ball and die! My past self was kind of an idiot sometimes.

rae said...

I am so jealous of this letter from the past that today I am going home and creating a time-capsule for my late-thirties-self to enjoy some day.

Wonder Woman said...

This is HILARIOUS!!!!!! I wrote letters to myself, too. And to my future husband. I'll have to pull them out. I love that you told yourself not to get married and that you wanted to help little kids. HILARIOUS!!!

Brenn said...

Bahaha, this is hilarious, yo. I have a letter I wrote when I was twelve to open when I got married. I'm halfway super excited to die laughing the night before I get married, and halfway terrified of what I said!! Ugh, sorry I've been such a bad commenter lately, but I still love you and I'm still reading -- and I'm doing that whole rules thing vicariously through you, okay? Cause I don't wanna. Okay, thanks. :D

Brenn said...

Bahaha, this is hilarious, yo. I have a letter I wrote when I was twelve to open when I got married. I'm halfway super excited to die laughing the night before I get married, and halfway terrified of what I said!! Ugh, sorry I've been such a bad commenter lately, but I still love you and I'm still reading -- and I'm doing that whole rules thing vicariously through you, okay? Cause I don't wanna. Okay, thanks. :D

Karen said...

Those letters are so fun!

A year or so ago, I found one I wrote in an old journal. I wrote it when I was 12. I don't even remember wanting to open a pet store, but apparently that was my great ambition 20 years ago.

Feeling Just Right said...

Mighty cute this! I'm hungry still and can't possibly eat melon!

Sell...Party Of 4 said...

That was hilar. I want a letter from my past...or maybe I don't.

Omgirl said...

So how do you think you are doing on following your own advice? Grade yourself.

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