I just received a letter from 15-year-old Boob Nazi. It was meant to be sent to me when I was 18. Instead, I got it when I was 24. Let me share it with all of you.
Dear 18-year-old Boob Nazi
Hopefully, right now, you are at BYU. You are enjoying school there and having the time of your life learning everything! You are going to church every Sunday and meeting new people while you are there. Make sure you have made friends. Hopefully, you know where Laura is, and you can write to her. Then you will always have one friend. Hopefully, you are still planning to go to medical school. It will be reward. I know it will! When you are a pediatrician, you can help little children!
Maybe you have already met a guy who is in love with you. DON'T get married your first year! You are now just turning 18!!! GOSH!!! Tell him that you want to get your college somewhat out of the way before you get married! I am sure he is tall and cute... with a great personality much like yours. He makes everyone laugh, and he is the life of a party because everyone likes him. Okay, so not everyone likes you, but people who know you well like you!
Make sure this special guy who you have already met or will meet soon wants a family. Especially a family where you pick the kids' names! And a family that will be brought up in the church. Attending church every Sunday should be very important to him, even if he has a major test the next day or whatever. Hopefully, you will find someone dedicated to the church.
Right now, you better be going to church every Sunday. I know that right now (when we are 15) that church is not always the most exciting thing to go to. Grow to love the church and to love going there. It should be a very fun place to go to.
HOPEFULLY, right now, YOU ARE NOT EATING!!!! I DON'T WANT TO BALLOON THE EXTRA 15 POUNDS FRESHMAN YEAR!! THERE IS NOWHERE FOR THEM TO GO!!!!! DO NOT EAT! DO NOT EAT! DO NOT EAT! IF YOU DO EAT, EAT MELON OR SOMETHING HEALTHY, YO! NO COOKIES OR CRACKERS THAT ARE HIGH IN CALORIES AND FAT! YO!!!
15-year-old Boob Nazi
Mother, thank you for sending me this. I haven't laughed this hard in a while. I then choked and almost died while rolling on the floor. I've changed so much yet so little. I hope you enjoyed this. Also, I'm doing AWESOME on my strategies today. woo woo. And dude, I said hopefully so much. bleech.