I Tried to Hate Myself Yesterday

I decided to go the road less traveled yesterday..... I decided to concentrate on my flaws. I thought about my weird cheek fat, my wavy, ugly hair, the gap between my two front teeth if I don't wear my retainers, my fat stomach, my non-existent eyelashes, my back fat, my love handles, my social anxiety, my awkwardness, the fact that make-out guy probably thinks I'm clingy when really, I'm just trying to be friends, my non-dating-ness, my asymmetrical face, this bump I have on my lower lip, my long nose, my neck fat, my big hands and feet, etc....     

So yeah. I spent the day thinking about those things. It was still an okay day. 

I needed to do something a little different. I never look at myself unclothed in the mirror. I don't. Ew. I don't need to see that. However, I did it last night. I wore my bra, underwear, and high heels. (Course.) I modeled in front of the mirror. I looked at the fat, the stretch marks, the sagginess.... everything. 

And then I decided.     

I'd hit that.